In every job I've undertaken, I'm obsessed with post-it notes. Sometimes the post-it gets only one word on it, and sometimes, I'll fill up even the sticky part. By lunch, I fill up about 25 of these post-its with my thoughts. I throw them all away before I leave the office, but I find I always want to write. I never intend anyone to read these notes but I wonder what they might see in me if they did. Are there patterns in my musings and could these piece together a verbal picture of me?
Whenever I write, no matter how much or little, it's like the thoughts are set free from my mind, releasing a messenger pigeon to no one. When the office doesn't get cleared for a week, the post-its pile up in the trash can like little colorful candies. Then my head feels heavy. I run out of room, and look for more paper.
Friday, June 21, 2013
Mutual Curiosity at a Hub
I was sitting by a coffee place, passing time between classes by sketching a 3-D draft of my dream apartment. Sitting at another table in front of me, facing me, was a well-dressed student. He had a neat haircut and was wearing black, thick rimmed square framed glasses, an argyle sweater over a light blue button-up, and khaki pants. He was pouring over a book, doing some homework.
At my school, you get accustomed to seeing science, math, or business books, but judging by the paragraph structure of this book, the subject was either history, a literary compilation, or philosophy. I sat there trying to imagine what kind of guy this was and the book he was reading. I wondered how his mind perceived it, and subsequently, everything else around him. It amused me to build his character, like the opening scene of a movie. I found myself playing a character as well: sipping coffee and sketching architectural layouts. I really wanted to know what he was so immersed in.
There was one time when he got up and left his stuff. I got up, with the pretense of tossing out my empty sugar packets, and peeked at his book. Philosophy. A beautiful, brown leather-bound textbook. Mass text filled the page, like sprawled out lines of the interior of someone's hands. I sat back in my seat, the feeling of satiated curiosity seeping into my head and spreading to my shoulders like a teabag seeped in hot water.
At my school, you get accustomed to seeing science, math, or business books, but judging by the paragraph structure of this book, the subject was either history, a literary compilation, or philosophy. I sat there trying to imagine what kind of guy this was and the book he was reading. I wondered how his mind perceived it, and subsequently, everything else around him. It amused me to build his character, like the opening scene of a movie. I found myself playing a character as well: sipping coffee and sketching architectural layouts. I really wanted to know what he was so immersed in.
There was one time when he got up and left his stuff. I got up, with the pretense of tossing out my empty sugar packets, and peeked at his book. Philosophy. A beautiful, brown leather-bound textbook. Mass text filled the page, like sprawled out lines of the interior of someone's hands. I sat back in my seat, the feeling of satiated curiosity seeping into my head and spreading to my shoulders like a teabag seeped in hot water.
The guy came back, stayed a few more minutes, and then got up to leave. As he passed me, he smiled and said, "I really like your drawings by the way."
There's really nothing that happened thereafter; it seemed to be a moment of no significance. Much ado about nothing.
There's really nothing that happened thereafter; it seemed to be a moment of no significance. Much ado about nothing.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Haiku of the Flat-Chested #1
Summer to me is
when girls play soccer with boys
and choose to play "skins".
when girls play soccer with boys
and choose to play "skins".
Monday, May 13, 2013
We Wore Sunglasses
It had been a long time since we last saw each other. The beach was bright and fairly empty for mid-May, but I still had difficulty recognizing him. Even through sunglasses, I thought he looked pale. His stomach bulged a little, but still young, he could eat and drink freely without much consequence. It was rather the way a child’s midriff might pudge out, not like a full-grown, working man with an after-work drinking habit at the nearest bar.
We talked, we laughed, we confided, and we insulted as we always did. At one point, I remembered he remarked about how completely incompatible we are. He: 6 feet tall; I: 5 feet short. He: recently unemployed and not in school; I: working two jobs, an internship, and planning for law school. He: single and content; I: in a long-term relationship and constantly contemplating it lately. I couldn’t wait to try some new healthy options restaurant, he commented romantically (yes, romantically) on the smell of French fries emitting from some nearby BBQ place.
Between us, it was like a magic happened where time stood still. We complain about the same things, as if nothing great changed over a year: our fathers were still assholes and our love lives were dissatisfying. Our futures were stll uncertain, and our relationship was undefined and unsure as it had been since we were sophomores in high school.
That's why in a few weeks, it’ll drive him to tears thinking about how we can’t, and won’t, ever be together again. He’ll accuse me of something or another,declare we can never be friends,and we must never talk again. Come Christmas or one of our birthdays, we’ll timidly send a greeting or well-wish. If I return back to our hometown, I’ll debate for a week or two about contacting him. He’ll always respond. We agree to hang out.
And here we are again.
This time though, I realized neither of us took off our sunglasses if we could help it. Neither of us wanted to look the other in the eyes.
We talked, we laughed, we confided, and we insulted as we always did. At one point, I remembered he remarked about how completely incompatible we are. He: 6 feet tall; I: 5 feet short. He: recently unemployed and not in school; I: working two jobs, an internship, and planning for law school. He: single and content; I: in a long-term relationship and constantly contemplating it lately. I couldn’t wait to try some new healthy options restaurant, he commented romantically (yes, romantically) on the smell of French fries emitting from some nearby BBQ place.
Between us, it was like a magic happened where time stood still. We complain about the same things, as if nothing great changed over a year: our fathers were still assholes and our love lives were dissatisfying. Our futures were stll uncertain, and our relationship was undefined and unsure as it had been since we were sophomores in high school.
That's why in a few weeks, it’ll drive him to tears thinking about how we can’t, and won’t, ever be together again. He’ll accuse me of something or another,declare we can never be friends,and we must never talk again. Come Christmas or one of our birthdays, we’ll timidly send a greeting or well-wish. If I return back to our hometown, I’ll debate for a week or two about contacting him. He’ll always respond. We agree to hang out.
And here we are again.
This time though, I realized neither of us took off our sunglasses if we could help it. Neither of us wanted to look the other in the eyes.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Summer Job
That kid, Jacob, who I'm tutoring: Awesome. He's not a genius, attentive, and nor exceeding expectations. He's a normal 7-year-old kid, and he's trying.
Oh, another great thing is I'm tutoring him in English! I mean, "Language Arts".
Just after two days of working with him, I'm come to appreciate the finesse of education to feed us rules we were the perfect age to just accept.
I finished a class in critical theory and criticism of literature, and one theorist, Ferdinand Saussure, explained that since letters themselves are symbols, with no literal connection to their meaning...
For example, the letter "r" has absolutely no connection to the sound it makes. Think about it. It looks like a twig, a little stick with a nub. Yet when combined with other letters in our alphabet, it means a multiplicity of things. So Saussure pointed out that is an inherent aspect of language, ambiguity and an arbitrary nature.
So when you try to explain to a kid why it's spelled "cough" and "coff", you find you really can't explain it.
The existence of entire histories, philosophies, sciences, and maths is contingent on a system that, comparatively, is like an adolescent deity whose hair color may go pink tomorrow.
This is the wonder that teachers, of all grades, go through. That was what made me want to be a teacher for years.
Just...maybe not in Florida.
Oh, another great thing is I'm tutoring him in English! I mean, "Language Arts".
Just after two days of working with him, I'm come to appreciate the finesse of education to feed us rules we were the perfect age to just accept.
I finished a class in critical theory and criticism of literature, and one theorist, Ferdinand Saussure, explained that since letters themselves are symbols, with no literal connection to their meaning...
For example, the letter "r" has absolutely no connection to the sound it makes. Think about it. It looks like a twig, a little stick with a nub. Yet when combined with other letters in our alphabet, it means a multiplicity of things. So Saussure pointed out that is an inherent aspect of language, ambiguity and an arbitrary nature.
So when you try to explain to a kid why it's spelled "cough" and "coff", you find you really can't explain it.
The existence of entire histories, philosophies, sciences, and maths is contingent on a system that, comparatively, is like an adolescent deity whose hair color may go pink tomorrow.
This is the wonder that teachers, of all grades, go through. That was what made me want to be a teacher for years.
Just...maybe not in Florida.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Last Day of Classes
Still have a 10 page paper to write but aside from that, I'll be moving out of my apartment and preparing for the summer!!!! I feel so ready!
I'll be tutoring and taking care of an 8 year old kid, hereafter under the alias of Jacob. I met him and his parents earlier this month and he is, omg, he'll be my best friend this summer lol. I am a fan of kids and their role in our lives as educators and reminders of what matters most. We should never stop learning or think we are too old. Kids make me feel as young as I look (I'm 21 but pass for 14 apparently). Kids like Jacob make me want to be a teacher, and even "problem children" are a breeze to me. I love kids.
I can't wait to start making lesson plans for Jacob. Even though it's "summer school", I'm going to make it as fun as possible. I will post some ideas and his progress as we go. See how good of a teacher I could be.
Omg, my LSAT is in 6 weeks!! June 10th. I've got work to do!!
(The picture is all that remains of the vegan cake. :))
I'll be tutoring and taking care of an 8 year old kid, hereafter under the alias of Jacob. I met him and his parents earlier this month and he is, omg, he'll be my best friend this summer lol. I am a fan of kids and their role in our lives as educators and reminders of what matters most. We should never stop learning or think we are too old. Kids make me feel as young as I look (I'm 21 but pass for 14 apparently). Kids like Jacob make me want to be a teacher, and even "problem children" are a breeze to me. I love kids.
I can't wait to start making lesson plans for Jacob. Even though it's "summer school", I'm going to make it as fun as possible. I will post some ideas and his progress as we go. See how good of a teacher I could be.
Omg, my LSAT is in 6 weeks!! June 10th. I've got work to do!!
(The picture is all that remains of the vegan cake. :))
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Improv Show Happened Tonight - Turned into a Fitness Blog
Boy, did it feel improv-ed. My boyfriend and friends say I did well but I know I wasn't feeling it tonight. I felt totally off, probably tired from the exam, followed by work, and then running straight to the show. Now I feel no motivation to work out. :(
In any case, since it's really hard to talk about an improv show (you kinda have to be there) I'm going to talk about what I do to get motived to work out.
I look at pictures of fat people. Seriously, Saturday mornings, I'll wake up, want to stay in bed, and I get my photo and google "Weight-loss progression".
You get a lot of this:
That starts my thinking to like, ok, yeah, never gonna get that way!
But I know I have never been to that extreme. I'm more like that girl in the pink top, in the middle of the top row.
I've tried a lot of things though. I won't crash diet because you'll always come crashing down and binge eat. Seriously, the smell of anything will get you to turn a "taste" into a gorge fest.
Yeah, I'll have just one....
I work out a lot, I set myself up to run 5k's (twice this month!) and I train in my spare time, but I still have this:
The swan says, "Helllooo!"
It's frustrating, but hey, tomorrow, I'm going to see a nutritionist and maybe she can tell me what I should be doing differently. I don't think I can work out more than an hour a day, so it's gotta be something in the diet!
Currently feeling like:
Rundown of the Day
Woke up at 7 for an 8 30 class, studied for an exam from 9 30 - 11, went home to walk my dog at 11 30, showered, heading to my exam at 12 15, gotta be there by 12 50, exam goes from 12 50 to 3 50, I work at 4-7, then 7 30 - 9 I've got an improv show to do! Omigoodness gracious xP oh, and I HAVE to work out today. I didn't yesterday and I have a run tomorrow I want to get one more day of training in.
And yet, as busy as I am, I find that through it all, I'm always looking forward: what next what next. I want to prep for things like weeks and months in advance. That's why everything is on a back to back schedule. I want to squeeze the life out of my days, wring it down to every last drop. Because you never know what could happen at any second. That's where my love of improv comes in. It uses every resource in me to create a great something out of nothing.
Out of time, people sculpted civilizations, and that was just a long drawn out improv. Ok, you're the king and I'll be the civilian and you tell me what I need to do. You could say, hey wait, planning isn't improv but aren't plans notorious for going wrong? So we plan again and play and play. Talking with a friend is comfortable improv, a partner you've rehearsed with many times. Meeting a stranger is a new surprise partner to your great improv company. Mom and dad were your improv teachers. "If you can help it, don't talk to strangers. But you'll figure it out when you're older, it gets easier."
So to life, that seems to drag on some days, go too fast some nights, I say, "the show must go on!"
-cheesy. Cue exam time.-
And yet, as busy as I am, I find that through it all, I'm always looking forward: what next what next. I want to prep for things like weeks and months in advance. That's why everything is on a back to back schedule. I want to squeeze the life out of my days, wring it down to every last drop. Because you never know what could happen at any second. That's where my love of improv comes in. It uses every resource in me to create a great something out of nothing.
Out of time, people sculpted civilizations, and that was just a long drawn out improv. Ok, you're the king and I'll be the civilian and you tell me what I need to do. You could say, hey wait, planning isn't improv but aren't plans notorious for going wrong? So we plan again and play and play. Talking with a friend is comfortable improv, a partner you've rehearsed with many times. Meeting a stranger is a new surprise partner to your great improv company. Mom and dad were your improv teachers. "If you can help it, don't talk to strangers. But you'll figure it out when you're older, it gets easier."
So to life, that seems to drag on some days, go too fast some nights, I say, "the show must go on!"
-cheesy. Cue exam time.-
Monday, April 22, 2013
The cake mentioned in first blog post
Vegan cake! Shaped like a Bagheera kiplingi, the vegetarian jumping spider!
Discovered in 2001 by Eric Olsen, but it's diet studied by Christopher Meehan and Robert Curry in 2008.
Lives in Central America and on Acacia trees, it feeds on the buds.
Discovered in 2001 by Eric Olsen, but it's diet studied by Christopher Meehan and Robert Curry in 2008.
Lives in Central America and on Acacia trees, it feeds on the buds.
Angie Li: Remembering
Wow, a lot of nostalgia or memory topics, but I guess that's what blogs are: picking at your thoughts and your memories. We are composed of memories. Oddly, that's what makes the present, so it's almost impossible to live in the present moment without some dedication to the past.
So it should be easy to think about how I want to be remembered.
I'd like to have written and published a compilation of short stories. That's how I'd like to be remembered, honestly.
I've also dreamt of being a famous actress and maybe remembered for my roles in great films, that's always been a laying-in-bed-staring-at-the-dark-ceiling fantasy.
I'd like to be remembered for my humor, but it's not anything that sticks out about me unfortunately, lol.
Oddly enough, I think that's it. I don't care for much else and I don't have those massive goals to be remembered for helping the world, caring for the environment, some great technological advancement, for a genius philosophy or discovery...those things happened without intent and on their own. If I do accomplish anything historically noteworthy, so be it. But I'm completely content with the idea that the people who will remember me...to remember me for the simple things.
So it should be easy to think about how I want to be remembered.
I'd like to have written and published a compilation of short stories. That's how I'd like to be remembered, honestly.
I've also dreamt of being a famous actress and maybe remembered for my roles in great films, that's always been a laying-in-bed-staring-at-the-dark-ceiling fantasy.
I'd like to be remembered for my humor, but it's not anything that sticks out about me unfortunately, lol.
Oddly enough, I think that's it. I don't care for much else and I don't have those massive goals to be remembered for helping the world, caring for the environment, some great technological advancement, for a genius philosophy or discovery...those things happened without intent and on their own. If I do accomplish anything historically noteworthy, so be it. But I'm completely content with the idea that the people who will remember me...to remember me for the simple things.
Pheddi Delinois: Homies
One reason I haven't deleted my Facebook is because of all of the people I can't talk to anymore that I want to know they're still doing well, or see how their lives have changed.
Examples:
I tried to go through all of my friends on Facebook profiles and I wanted to delete people who I didn't talk to in a long time, but everyone has such a great memory attached to them I couldn't delete them. There are people I just did a group project with in college, and I had a great time working with them that I still want them in my life, even if it's just in passing on Facebook news feed.
Examples:
Heather Snyder: She's heading to India on a mission trip soon. She recently posted an event asking for help with funding and even though I hadn't talked to her or seen her in almost a year, I put in some money and was happy to see she got everything paid off. I don't support religious mission trips but she's a great person and I support anyone who wants to dedicate time overseas. That's such a great commitment of time and that is the most precious thing anyone can "donate".
Jordan Hannah: She was a co-worker at Build-A-Bear and something about those late night closing shifts really make you bond with someone. I remember some nights she would drive me home and we would talk about really personal things because, well, it was safe. No judgement. She got married recently and the pictures are beautiful. She looks so happy. :)
Jordan Hannah: She was a co-worker at Build-A-Bear and something about those late night closing shifts really make you bond with someone. I remember some nights she would drive me home and we would talk about really personal things because, well, it was safe. No judgement. She got married recently and the pictures are beautiful. She looks so happy. :)
---
People pass through our lives everyday; many of them we forget about as the days go on. For me, however, I feel like if I've spent more than just a day with you, I won't forget about you. In a sense, it's like I've given you a piece of my soul and I won't just forget or lose a piece of my soul. That time I spent with you doesn't just disappear, like the tree that fell over in the woods and no one heard. It still happened and it made a sound. That sound resonates with me.
:) Thank you, Pheddi, for remembering me :) Homies: Where the Heart Is.
:) Thank you, Pheddi, for remembering me :) Homies: Where the Heart Is.
Brittany Stephenson: The best dinner of all-time
My wonderful friend/sister-from-another-mister asked: Name 8 historical people you want to have a dinner with? who would sit nest to who and what would you serve them.
8 HISTORICAL PEOPLE:
- Oscar Wilde
- Marget Mitchell
- Adolf Hitler
- Edie Sedgwick
- Audrey Hepburn
- Clark Gable
- Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt
- Galileo Galilei
Galileo and Oscar would definitely get into heated arguments. Adolf would need women to sit on either side of him. I believe Marget and Edie would get along, and Audrey would share fashion secrets. Clark has to sit next to me, and he and Teddy would be an interesting pair.
So ideally, at a rectangular table setting:
OSCAR WILDE GALILEO GALILEI AUDREY HEPBURN
ME
ADOLF HITLER
CLARK GABLE
TEDDY ROOSEVELT MARGET MITCHELL EDIE SEDGWICK
This is a beautiful dinner. Makes me sad it won't ever happen, lol.
It would, of course, be a five-course meal, prepared by myself. I would serve the following dishes:
(Credits to the page "I love eating" on Facebook)
Comments? :)
8 HISTORICAL PEOPLE:
- Oscar Wilde
- Marget Mitchell
- Adolf Hitler
- Edie Sedgwick
- Audrey Hepburn
- Clark Gable
- Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt
- Galileo Galilei
Galileo and Oscar would definitely get into heated arguments. Adolf would need women to sit on either side of him. I believe Marget and Edie would get along, and Audrey would share fashion secrets. Clark has to sit next to me, and he and Teddy would be an interesting pair.
So ideally, at a rectangular table setting:
OSCAR WILDE GALILEO GALILEI AUDREY HEPBURN
ME
ADOLF HITLER
CLARK GABLE
TEDDY ROOSEVELT MARGET MITCHELL EDIE SEDGWICK
This is a beautiful dinner. Makes me sad it won't ever happen, lol.
It would, of course, be a five-course meal, prepared by myself. I would serve the following dishes:
(Credits to the page "I love eating" on Facebook)
Comments? :)
KOOL CALEB: The music on my mind
MUSIC ME:
I thank my boyfriend, Kevin, for introducing me to this great project by Anthony Green of Saosin. He's collaborating with various artists on music and the results are really amazing. I wasn't a huge fan of Saosin but this make me rethink the capabilities of some seemingly generic rock bands (I mean, look at what happened with Sonny Moore from From First to Last).
1.) Anthony Green ft Nate Ruess from Fun
2.) Anthony Green ft Chino Moreno from Deftones
HEALTH - CONSCIOUS ME:
I tried to add these songs to one of my running playlists. It made me just wanna walk and then do yoga afterwards, lol. Great chill music though. :)
If anyone has music they want to share, please comment!
I thank my boyfriend, Kevin, for introducing me to this great project by Anthony Green of Saosin. He's collaborating with various artists on music and the results are really amazing. I wasn't a huge fan of Saosin but this make me rethink the capabilities of some seemingly generic rock bands (I mean, look at what happened with Sonny Moore from From First to Last).
1.) Anthony Green ft Nate Ruess from Fun
2.) Anthony Green ft Chino Moreno from Deftones
HEALTH - CONSCIOUS ME:
I tried to add these songs to one of my running playlists. It made me just wanna walk and then do yoga afterwards, lol. Great chill music though. :)
If anyone has music they want to share, please comment!
That Awkward First Post
Well this is a lovely welcome to Blogger.
First thought:
...this looks way too damn formal. :O This is just going to be a diary, like a patchwork quilt of thought and work. I'll sometimes give advice or feedback on things I try and experience and share them here. Usually they charge a penny for thoughts but here, mine are free :)
---
Today, I'm doing a group project that involves making a model of a bug out of food. BAKING TIME!
We research a bug, make a poster on it, and cook a model. So we did a Bagheera kiplingi, a vegetarian jumping spider!
SO...I'm having my group make the model out of a VEGAN CAKE. You know, to address "special diets". :)
LINK TO THE RECIPE:
http://cupcakesandshowtunes.com/2013/03/01/vegan-chocolate-peanut-butter-pretzel-cupcakes/
(Using pocky sticks for the legs)
Will post the result pictures soon.
---
Other news, I set up an appointment with a nutritionist for Wednesday. I'm tired of guessing so much on the best diet for me. Too much or too little water? More or less salt? Carbs? Fruits?
---
It's TOM* week, btw. I have a 5k on Wednesday and I meant to train today and then relax tomorrow but I'm forced to relax today and train tomorrow. I don't want to be sedentary today so I'll probably do yoga at home.
---
2 days of class left!
- Jennii A. Tran
First thought:
...this looks way too damn formal. :O This is just going to be a diary, like a patchwork quilt of thought and work. I'll sometimes give advice or feedback on things I try and experience and share them here. Usually they charge a penny for thoughts but here, mine are free :)
---
Today, I'm doing a group project that involves making a model of a bug out of food. BAKING TIME!
SO...I'm having my group make the model out of a VEGAN CAKE. You know, to address "special diets". :)
LINK TO THE RECIPE:
http://cupcakesandshowtunes.com/2013/03/01/vegan-chocolate-peanut-butter-pretzel-cupcakes/
(Using pocky sticks for the legs)
Will post the result pictures soon.
---
Other news, I set up an appointment with a nutritionist for Wednesday. I'm tired of guessing so much on the best diet for me. Too much or too little water? More or less salt? Carbs? Fruits?
---
It's TOM* week, btw. I have a 5k on Wednesday and I meant to train today and then relax tomorrow but I'm forced to relax today and train tomorrow. I don't want to be sedentary today so I'll probably do yoga at home.
---
2 days of class left!
- Jennii A. Tran
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)